


Rappin' With Cap

by Captainamericant



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Domestic Avengers, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 17:10:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12215214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captainamericant/pseuds/Captainamericant
Summary: Thanks to Pepper, Steve is looped into making some Public Service Announcements for the students of America. The Avengers find this far funnier than it actually is.





	Rappin' With Cap

Steve walked out of the dressing room in his Captain America costume (all his uniforms had felt like costumes, but this one was an  _ actual _ costume) to Sam’s laughter.  He sat in one of the chairs in front of the set, his head thrown back as he giggled.  Steve scowled at him.  Why he had allowed for Sam to tag along was beyond him. 

Steve put his hands on his hips, “It’s not funny.”

“It is.  It really fucking is,” He wiped at his eyes.

Steve walked over to him, pouting.  Sam reached out to run his hand over Steve’s arms.  “Why wouldn’t you just wear your real Cap uniform?  This seems…a bit too much.” 

“I don’t know.  Pepper said something about how the real thing was too threatening,” He pouted harder, “I don’t want to do this.”

“It’s okay Stevie, in a few hours we’ll be out of here, driving into the sunset.”

“We took the subway here, Sam.”

The two pulled apart when a short stubby man walked towards them.  Steve recognized him straight away.  He was the director of the whole shitshow. 

“Hello, Captain!  Nice to see you that you’re ready!”

Steve winced, “Please, call me Steve.”

“Steve then! Have you gotten a chance to read over the scripts?  Of course, there will be a teleprompter, but it’s best for you to have prior knowledge of the material before we shoot.”

Steve had read over the scripts.  He wanted to cringe just thinking about them.  They were bad.   _ Really _ bad.  “Yes, um, I have.”

“Excellent!  Well, everything is set up for you.  We are ready when you are,” He said. 

Steve nodded, he glanced over to Sam who gave him an encouraging thumbs up before he turned and walked onto set. 

He stood on the markers that were on the ground and took a deep breath.  People were buzzing all around him, and when the teleprompter and camera started rolling he felt frazzled.  It was the lunch one.   _ Awesome _ .

“Hi, I’m Captain America,” He heard himself say, “Whether you’re a student of a soldier there is one thing that will always give you an edge.  A hot lunch.”

Before the director could call cut, a peal of laughter echoed through the set.  Steve turned to Sam, who had his head in his hands.  His shoulders shook with laughter. 

The crew all turned to look at him with, some scowling for ruining a take, others had their hands over their mouths to refrain from laughing too.  Despite his own embarrassment, Steve couldn’t help but crack a smile.  Sam’s laughter was far too infectious for it’s own good.  

The director whoever, was not pleased.  “Mr. Wilson, please refrain from making any noise while we are filming.”

Sam nodded, wiping tears away from his eyes as he did.  “Yes, of course.  I’m sorry, sir.”

They redid the lunch PSA.  This time, Steve could see Sam shoving his fist into his mouth to stop himself from laughing.  However, it didn’t stop him for crying out during the patience announcement about how Steve ‘doesn't have an ounce of patience in his entire super solider body.’

Steve resented that. 

The crew called cut again and refilmed. 

This went on for every single PSA that was filmed.  The director grew more and more frustrated, but Steve in turn grew more and more fond.  He smiled gently at Sam each time he burst into laughter.  The scenes were all so fucking silly, he really couldn’t blame him.

Finally, the director had had enough and walked over to Sam. After they spoke for a short while, Steve could see Sam nodding and picking up his jacket.  Still laughing, he waved at Steve and walked out of the studio. 

Steve’s shoulders sagged.  The rest of the filming was much more peaceful, but without Sam there, it was far less fun.  They filmed the PSAs relatively quickly without Sam distracting Steve and ruining takes.  When he was finally let go, he quickly stripped from the godawful uniform and changed back into his street clothes.  Walking out of the dressing room he stopped in his tracks at the sight of Natasha standing by the monitors watching take after take.

Steve squinted to her, “What are you doing here?”

She turned to him with a glint in her eyes and said, “Wilson called.  Said you boys  needed a ride.”

(Sam, that fucking traitor.)

She patted him on the shoulder, “Chin up, Rogers.  You did a good thing.  PR is going to love you.”

Steve sighed and followed her out of the studio.  Sam was sitting in the lobby; seeing Natasha and Steve approach, he stood when they finally reached him.  He held out a hand for Steve for Steve to hold.  They walked out of the building.  Steve felt lighter as he entwined his fingers with Sam’s. 

Of course, that feeling couldn’t have lasted because the car ride home was an absolute shit show. 

After the trio settled into the car, and Natasha started driving Steve thought he would finally have a moment of rest.  Up until she decided to break the comforting silence with a,“Hey Steve.” 

Steve looked up, “hmm?”

“Tell me, what’s the one thing that always gives you an edge?”

_ No. _

“A HOT LUNCH!” She and Sam shouted, dissolving into laughter.

Steve scowled, crossing his arms across his chest.  “Fuck you guys.”

Sam gasped, “Did the great American hero just swear?”

“I think he did, Sam,” Natasha answered.

“What would the kids think?”

“Do you know that I think?” She said.

“Nat, please tell me what you think,” Sam giggled, ignoring the betrayed look that Steve shot him. 

“I think that Steve is secretly compromised.”

“Nat--” Steve started.

“By what!”

She looked in the rearview mirror, dead into Steve’s eyes, “Head lice.”

As if on cue, she and Sam began to sing, “IF YOU FEEL AN ITCH, DON’T BE AFRAID!”

_ Fuck this.  _ Steve opened the car door and walked out. 

“Steve!” Sam calls out the open door, laughing hysterically, “Baby, come back!” 

Steve flipped him off and pulled up his collar to shield himself from the wind.  He had no real friends.  They were all dead to him. 

\--

When Steve finally got back to the tower with snowflakes dotting his hair and clothes, the main floor was empty.  He shrugged off his jacket and went in search of his team  Hearing a faint noise coming from the media room, he padded towards it and opened the door to find the Avengers curled into themselves, crying. 

Steve furrowed his brow in confusion, but the confusion was replaced with a spike embarrassment as he saw the raw footage that he filmed on the screen.

“H-h-How did you get that?!” He sputtered. 

Natasha’s head popped up from between her arms, smiling wickedly at him. 

“You son of a bitch,” Steve hissed. 

Sam reached over to give her a high five and winked at Steve when he started pouting. 

In the corner, Tony and Clint were holding each other and howling in laughter. Bruce sat next to them, a faint smile on his face.  He looked over a Steve apologetically but shrugged as the rest of the team continued to ridicule him.  That bastard. 

“Cap, oh cap, please tell me more about head lice,” Clint cried.

Thor looked at them laughing, and turned to Steve all somber, though Steve could see this  _ glint _ in his eyes. “Captain!  I think it is a marvelous thing you have done!  Teaching young Midgardians about the treacheries of head lice!  We in Asgard do not have such things!”

Pepper, who was silently laughing, wiped at her face, “Steve, I’m so sorry for making you do that,” Her shoulders shook, “I’m kidding.  I’m not actually sorry.”

Steve threw his hands into the air, walking out of the room.  Fake friends, the lot of them. 

\--

“Steve,” Bruce said while they were in the kitchen eating dinner. 

He looked up from his plate of food, “Yes, Dr. Banner.”

Bruce pulled a bottle from behind him, “Have you tried this? I know hot lunches give you an edge, but I feel like this may be more effective.”

It was a bottle of lice shampoo. 

Steve pushed his chair back and stalked out of the room.  Bruce’s laugher echoed through the whole floor.

\--

Tony and Clint couldn’t look at Steve for a week.  They dissolved in laughter before he can get a single word out, much to his chagrin.

To add insult to injury, Tony programed JARVIS to play Rappin’ with Cap over the speakers whenever Steve walked into his workshop. 

\--

#RappinWithCap and #WhatGivesYouAnEdge  started trending on twitter.  Steve hates the future and technology.

\--

Steve ran into Sharon while he was walking through SHIELD.  They stood and caught up with one another for a while.  After a bit, she said, “Do you want to grab some lunch?”

Steve smiled, “Yeah, that sounds great.”

“Good, because I need to get an edge.”

_ Jesus. _ Feeling the tips of his ears turn red, Steve walked away, not even turning back when she called after him, “Don’t you want an edge too?”

\--

Steve laid in bed with Sam, his eyes closed as Sam gently petted his hair.  It had been a hard couple of months.  Between getting Bucky back and helping with his recovery, he was exhausted. But Sam helped.  Sam helped so fucking  _ much _ .  They were relaxing after a long group therapy session with Bucky, and Steve had almost fallen asleep until his phone pinged.  He scowled, moving on top of Sam to reach for it and laying completely on top of him as he scrolled through. 

It was a google alert.  “What is it?” Sam grunted.

Steve opened the notification, and seeing what it is, he dropped the phone on Sam’s face. With his heart pounding in his ears, he doesn’t hear Sam’s grunt of surprise as Steve pulled away from him and stalked out of the room.  He stalked down the hallway, and when he reached Bucky’s room he flung the door open and shouted,“Why?! I thought we were friends!”

Bucky, in his oversized sweater and sweatpants, looked up at him from his phone.  “That should be  _ my _ line.  Stevie, how could you not tell me about this?!  My recovery would have gone so much smoother if I had this as an anchor.”

Sam came up behind him, giggling as he scrolled through Steve’s phone.  “Barnes, you’re a goddamn legend.” 

Steve surged forward and grabbed a pillow off of Bucky’s bed.  Without warning, he started smacking Bucky with it.  

Bucky and Sam started laughing hysterically as Bucky attempted to guard himself from Steve’s pillow assault, “Stop! I’m a recovering prisoner of war! You can’t hit me!”

Steve did not give two shits, “You’re a son of a bitch, that’s what you are, Barnes!”     

 

**Bucky Barnes @RealBuckyBarnes**

I didn’t come back from the dead to let #RappinWithCap die.

 

**Bucky Barnes @RealBuckyBarnes**

#Bringbackrappinwithcap 

  
  


**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably the best and fastest fic I have ever written. It was inspired by a headcanon I made on tumblr and a whole bunch of headcanons my friend Jay and I were exchanging back and forth. Rappin' with cap is the best thing that has happened to the cap fandom. fight me.  
> As always I huge thank you to [Jay](http://captainromanova.tumblr.com) for being my cheerleader and beta! Also, follow me on [Tumblr](http://softiebarnes.tumblr.com) if you want!  
> btw, here's the [lunch psa](http://softiebarnes.tumblr.com/post/165850712300/msmarvel-spider-man-homecoming-gag-reel)


End file.
